Till date I have read so many
books on non-fiction which in its own way left some sort of unique imprint on
my mind and which helps to understand this world and people better with ease.
In my quest to know the psychology of people around me including near and dear
ones I keep searching and looking for those types of books which are written on
the basis of people’s personality and psychology. No wonder our planet earth is full of
interesting people with various thoughts and beliefs. And the most interesting
thing is how people react differently and uniquely depending on their
temperament, beliefs, behaviors, nature and personality.
All my queries regarding
uniqueness of people’s perspective and mentality has been perfectly answered by
a single book – “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop
Talking” which is one of the best books on non-fiction I have ever read. I wish I could read this book in my school
days so that I would have understood those situations and people I encountered
without even the slightest thought of escaping or changing them.
This very book “Quiet” depicts
perfectly and beautifully of the personality traits of both introversion and
extroversion. As majority of world’s culture sees extroversion as a successful
personality trait and due to that firm belief system people are madly trying to
fit themselves and their children in this popular culture of extroversion qualities
and they are rushing towards adopting this personality trait without even
knowing who they really are and what their core personality type is. So, there are
lots of people who are pseudo- extroverts meaning pretended extrovert who are
actually introvert inside. The author of this book advocates impeccably that
why introverts do not need to pretend to be an extrovert because it’s all right
to be what you are. Yes, there are some traits the introverts or thinker group need
to adopt to be compatible with the opposite personality type and vice versa to
meet the demands of current competitive culture but to that extent only where
someone is comfortable with its own self.
However, there is a word called
ambivert, a personality trait including the qualities of both introversion and
extroversion. Susan Cain’s New York
Times Bestselling book “Quiet” is not only an eye- opener, but also a homecoming for
me. In Quiet I find so many similar situations and facts which I
personally faced earlier and I can relate those situations with mine like how
uncomfortable I feel when I meet a new group of people who are completely
strangers and how I feel exhausted after attending a crowded party and
desperately need some down time. And, also why I feel so good in one on one
conversation on serious subjects and why I hate small talks on the same
time. Also, I prefer to express my
experiences in writing rather than talking.
In this remarkable book” Quiet” there is a
great example of a couple of opposite personality. Husband is extrovert and the
wife is introvert. Husband loves throwing lots of dinner parties, inviting
friends and colleagues while on the other side, wife loves spending time alone
or only with near and dear ones . Husband loves conflicts and the wife avoids conflicts.
Husband gets his energy by socializing with lots of people and the wife recharges
by spending alone time. These opposite two types of personalities attracts each
other in first place and they get married and after marriage in practical day
to day routine life how they handle this challenging situations technically to save their marriage without fight or flight intention.
Susan Cain throws light on the
cultural beliefs of Asians and how they are diversely different from Americans
and Europeans. Students of Asian countries are quiet and studious in the eyes
of the Westerners. And on the other hand, American students are friendly,
outgoing and gregarious. In Asian countries like China or India it’s a strong
belief that you can’t be loud and wise at the same time. There is also very
alluring line which reads like when an
Asian is smart or intelligent he/she needs to be confirmed and when an American
is intelligent he/she needs to prove that.
In Silicon Valley how Asian students or employees need to work hard
towards extroversion to fit in American culture which demands good presenters and
talkative persons. And, how do Asians face difficulties to tackle with
demanding culture of extrovert personality while they have their inherited
quiet nature from their parents. In this book, there are students from
Cupertino, who are from Asia or Asian American but completely doing well and
they are divided into two groups. The smart, outgoing, gregarious and talkative
group is known as Asian super stars and others who talk less or shy are known
as traditional Asians.
While arguing in favor of introversion
qualities Susan Cain recalls Rosa parks, Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, Eleanor Roosevelt, and many more great personalities and leaders
who are widely known for their soft powers. The famous quote of Mahatma Gandhi
is included by the writer in this book – “In a gentle way, you can shake the
world”. Whether it’s the matter of leadership, teaching, delivering public
speech, or leading a revolution both introvert and extrovert people can
successfully perform their task in their own unique way. So,
from the very beginning the parents should carefully nurture their children
only after observing the kids true nature and core personality type. This book will definitely help extroverted
parents whose kids are introverts to understand how to accept the personality
traits of children and help them to grow and choose a career they are
compatible with, despite forcing them unreasonably to become an extrovert and
also the author repeatedly describes and shows with live examples of various
people’s life that why you don’t need to be loud or talkative or aggressive in
nature to become a successful person.
This world needs people of both
personalities. They are completely good in their own way and we do not need to
become one or another. Just what we need to do is to try to adopt and exchange some
of the healthy traits of both the personalities, and accept one another
respectfully and completely. It is also well said in this book that no man can
be extremely extrovert or introvert, otherwise he would be in a lunatic asylum.
“Quiet: The Power of Introverts
in a World That Can't Stop Talking” is a must read for everyone, not just
introverts. The author of this book Susan Cain, former Wall Street lawyer and
self-described introvert, investigates using historic, neuroscientific, and
literary evidence to show how, for over a century, the value of extroverts has
been glorified to the detriment of innovation and productivity and how
introversion has become dangerously scorned in the current American
"Culture of Personality."
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